johannesburg: What? – It's a Complete Mess

Jacarandas Don't Hide the Rot: Joburg's Still Joburg

So, the City of Johannesburg appointed a new CEO for its property company, huh? Big freakin' deal. We're supposed to be impressed by Musawakhe Makhunga's "visionary leadership" and his award from the South African Institute of Black Property Practitioners? Give me a break. It's all PR spin.

The "New Era" of Bullshit

The press release is dripping with this feel-good nonsense. "A stronger and more inclusive city"? Yeah, right. I'll believe it when I see it. This guy gets an award for, what, not burning the whole place down? The bar is so low it's practically subterranean.

And this quote: “That recognition was never about me alone. It's about the resilience, innovation, and passion I see every day at JPC." Oh, please. It's always about you, buddy. Let's be real, people don't get into politics and public service because they are selfless.

Remember when they relocated staff from the Metro Centre to Newtown? They call it the "Office Space Optimisation Strategy." I call it shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic. Did it actually fix anything, or just move the problems to a different location? I bet the commute is just as bad, if not worse. I'm sure that's what the people who live there are worried about.

Purple Haze, Same Old Problems

Then there's this other article about the jacaranda blooms turning Johannesburg into a "city of amethyst." How lovely. So, while the city is literally covered in purple flowers, everything is good? The City of Gold becomes the City of Amethyst... sounds like a tourist trap.

Don't get me wrong, jacarandas are pretty. I'll give them that. But they don't magically erase the potholes, the crime, the corruption, and the overall sense that things are slowly falling apart. It's like putting lipstick on a pig. A purple lipstick, I guess.

And Trump thinks South Africa shouldn't be in the G20? Frankly, I don't care what that bloated, orange buffoon thinks. But it does make you wonder. Is South Africa really pulling its weight on the world stage, or are they just faking it 'til they make it? Are we all just buying into the hype? According to Trump says South Africa should not be in G20, refuses to attend summit in Johannesburg, the former president has expressed his doubts about the country's role in the international forum.

Offcourse, this is just me being cynical. Maybe Makhunga really is a visionary leader. Maybe the jacarandas do signal a brighter future for Joburg. Maybe… nah, who am I kidding? I'm not that optimistic.

"Managing the City's Property Assets"?

That's what it all boils down to, isn't it? "Managing the City's property assets." Sounds so… sterile. So corporate. As if Johannesburg is just a balance sheet to be optimized.

What about the people who live there? What about their hopes, their dreams, their struggles? Do they even factor into the equation, or are they just collateral damage in the relentless pursuit of "tangible value"?

And this "inclusive urban development" they keep talking about… what does that even mean? Is it just another buzzword designed to make us feel good while the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? I suspect it is.

So, What's the Real Story?

It's the same old story, folks. A fresh coat of paint on a crumbling facade. A new CEO promising the moon while the city slowly sinks into the mud. Jacarandas blooming, but the rot still spreading underneath. Wake me up when something actually changes.